Movies! and some other stuff

Hi again :)
I just went to see Men in Black 3 in 3D. It was good, but I tend to like action-y movies and alien/sci-fi/future stuff. Anyway, I'd recommend it. The other option was Snow White and the Huntsman, which I thought looked cool, but neither of us like Kristen Stewart so MIB won out. I've been going to a lot of movies lately, kind of by accident/coincidence. My credit card lets me collect movie points and for every 1000 points, I get a free movie ticket. Yay for turning potential debt into potential entertainment! Anyway, I've seen the Avengers (good), The Hunger Games (good) and the Lucky One (not bad).

In other news, we (my roommate and I) smuggled in some candy and drinks. I brought water and 160g (560 calories!) of jube jubes. Which I ate. I was doing so good before that too! She brought chips and chocolate covered something (almonds maybe?) and got a big slushie there. And probably didn't calculate the calories in her head. Or have a mini-freak out at the bulk store. I can't remember if I mentioned this already, but grocery stores scare me now. Just seeing all the food around makes me anxious and I just need to either buy everything or buy nothing and get out now! Went to costco a few weeks ago... Nightmare. I can't recall having had this problem before, although I do remember when I used to go grocery shopping with psycho ex. I'd have to read the nutritional info on all the cereal and figure out which was the best price for the lowest calories but the most nutrients and he'd make fun of me a little (it is weird...) and eventually get mad.

I think if you try hard enough to not think about something for long enough, it's like it never happened. And then someone or something reminds you it was real, a forgotten picture, an old email, a new email asking if you're alright... And then it hits you like a ton of bricks. I wish that I had the little wand thing they have on Men in Black that makes people forget. But if I forgot, then I wouldn't know how to keep myself safe.

I switched back to old blogger. Yay! (if anyone else wants to, go to settings (a little wheel thingy) near the top under your name and it should say something about old blogger. So easy.)

I have also eaten... 3 lbs of carrots in 5 days. I don't know how many you have to eat to turn orange but I'm going to try to lay off a bit. But if I do turn orange, that would be a picture worthy occasion and I promise to post one! At least carrots are a relatively low calorie safe food?
Other than the candy, food has been good. Except that I seem to be having a lot more food-related anxiety than normal. And I'm not getting enough protein.

Leigha: That's so cool that it's your friend! And also not being photoshopped. Very brave of her, to appear in ads un-photoshopped, although she is beautiful!  That one, it's basically the caption that bugs me, just because of the part about skinny women. I dunno lol maybe I'm just sensitive about my butt because it's small even when I am overweight. I guess fitspo is good in some ways, you can kind of be stealth about your inspiration :)

Live And Love: This trying to be healthy thing can be hard, but it's worth it I think. Just trying for one meal at a time, for 3 a day. It's not so bad, because if I know when and what I'm going to eat, I don't binge as much.  I agree, about counselling, I think you have to tell everything. I'm not sure about you, but I'm not good at expressing my feelings and whatnot so that really doesn't help. Either way, I'll still try to keep blogging. I'm glad it's helped you some! I think as long as you are getting some stuff out, it helps.

ednos Linny: Thanks :) I haven't really told anyone in real life that I (used to?) cut, so it's nice to hear! I am probably not going to change much either, just going to try to be as healthy as I can and lose weight still. It's not that I don't want to be healthy/give up the weird food things, I just don't want to be fat. I know exactly what you mean about comments making you feel less alone! I'm sorry that you've experienced abuse, and I hope you're doing ok. In my case, it was all about not having any physical proof of what happened, and less about the cops not caring. I hope that if you've had experience with cops, they weren't horrible to you. Have heard some stories about when people report abuse :( I'd say it's not that we don't have eating issues, just (for me anyway) not a full on eating disorder. At this point anyway. But I agree, normal people probably don't have some of these thoughts. Thanks for the book, here's one for you too :)

Take care everybody :)