Scared Silly

First off: Hi to first follower!!!

Big stuff coming, but first a few quotes:

"Courage isn't the lack of fear. It's being afraid, but going anyway."
"Always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."
"Everyday you will either see a scar, or courage. Where you dwell will define your struggle."
"Scars are just tattoos with better stories."
"Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day saying, 'I'll try again tomorrow'."
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that something else is more important.

So this is somewhat how my day went:

Wake up - 5:30 am
Wait for it to get light, go running with Dog. Go to do field work in the morning, then go to the office for the afternoon. I had a presentation to give after lunch and on my way, I was going to stop at the corner store. I had to pick up the local paper, because they wrote an article about me and my job and I was going to include it in my final report.

I pulled into the parking lot at the store and crazy ex boyfriend's mom crossed the road in front of me.
And that's when it hit me: Even though I've kicked him out of my life, he's still out there in the world somewhere. I shook it off, went in to the store (they didn't have the paper). Then I went to my presentation, trying not to worry about it. I was talking to a boys and girls club, a group of kids 8 to 12. That age group really needs a lot of my focus.

Who should I see in the crowd of kids i was talking to but psycho ex's niece. She's I think ten now.  She came up to me and said, "Hey, I know you! You used to date my uncle!" (in a friendly way)

After my presentation I started thinking.  What if he hurts another girl? Maybe what happened to me wasn't my fault, maybe it was. But if I don't tell anybody what happened, and it happens to someone else... That could be considered my fault. Or at least something I could have prevented.

A few weeks ago, I went with my mom to the police station to get a criminal record check for work. After we got there a girl not much older than me wearing a military uniform walked in. She had a little girl with her. She talked to her daughter in a way that made me think she was a really good mom. I remember thinking, I know why she's here.
The room was really small so she had to tell the receptionist about her situation in front of me and my mom. She was assaulted by her boyfriend/husband. She'd gotten out of the relationship and was having problems with the restraining order. I remember wishing I could be brave like her.

I stopped by the police station after work today. I meant to leave early, but ended up getting there only 5 minutes before closing time. It didn't matter. I talked to someone about what happened. They're going to take a video statement next Tuesday at 10.

He may not go to jail. He may not even get charged with anything. But it'll be on record if another girl reports him.  That's all I want right now. To do everything I can to make sure this doesn't happen to someone else. This might be one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Take care, and remember: Sometimes you just need to be brave and jump.