I'm home

I just got home from Ireland yesterday night. I have to say, it was awesome! More about the trip later though.
I have just weighed myself, and... 139!!! I'm so happy, since when I left I was 145. I had my period then though. I think I have food poisoning now though and might be dehydrated and I know my digestive system is completely empty (literally) so that could be why its so low. It makes me upset to think I have food poisoning, because mostly you get it from meats or eggs or people preparing your food and not washing their hands. I feel so... unclean. My food was probably cross contaminated or something. I'm vegan though. The thought of eating meat (or even dairy/eggs (Fun fact: Ive recently learned that eggs are considered dairy :O)) just seems dirty.
I'm still nauseous/sick so I probably won't eat much today. I really want this to stick, but I expect I'll gain about 2lbs as soon as I start eating again. I can see how laxatives would get addictive though, wanting this empty, light feeling after a binge.
I am going to stay in bed/close to bed today. Maybe watch a movie or something.
I go back to school soon which makes me nervous. So I'm going to list the good things about it:
- go to karate again
- good running trails behind the school
- get to see my friends again!
- I get to learn (which I loved first year)
- New roommates/new friends

I'm worried though, about feeling alone and falling back into the bingeing and cutting. It's hard to think of anything else. I'm worried about being in that place where psycho ex is/could be. Maybe unfriending/blocking him on facebook was a bad call, since now I can't keep track of where he is.
I have so much more to say, but I'm tired and sick so I'll be back later
take care <3