Calories and thoughts

I binged again today. Twice. And plan on exercising it off. Some of it anyway, enough to not get fat. Hopefully. I don't want to get stuck bingeing and purging again but I don't want to gain either. I am hungry again.
I think it is because I'm not getting enough protein. I looked at binge days and those days I get up to about 100-125 grams of protein, where restricting days or normal days I get 30-60. And probably also because I didn't eat much a few days last week. So now I'm going to aim for  minimum 1200 calories per day, and 100 grams of protein. Maximum 1600 calories per day, but the occasional 1900 day is ok. That puts me at about a deficit of 300-700 calories, which is not enough to see instant scale results but that's ok.
If this doesn't work I know what I have to do: stop trying to lose weight, focus on eating 3 meals a day at regular intervals, and eat healthy, nutritious food. And when I screw up and binge, accept it, not purge and try again tomorrow. I know what to do, but I don't think I'm strong enough. At least for the first and last one, anyway. The middle few were part of the plan.
The other day, I was thinking, there are worse things than being fat:

• My parents could die/have something bad happen to them
• I could get raped
• My country could become a violent place to live
• I could fail all my university classes

I could go on, but I think you get it. And then I got to thinking, those things would suck less if I was skinny.
The other plan that I had in mind, was to not worry about calories, just eat at 9,1 and 5 (with a piece of fruit or raw vegetables at 11 and 3) and at these meals, just eat until I am not hungry. That is kind of appealing to me, expecially because it's hard to count calories sometimes, like at restaurants and at my parents house. Maybe I will try this, but still kind of count until I go home for Christmas and then just count as best as I can.