Another plan

So... it's night and I'm a little depressed and sick-ish...
And most of my pants don't fit anymore. Or at least don't fit well.
So I'm making a plan

GW 1: 145 lbs
GW 2: 140 lbs
GW 3: 135
UGW: 130

And how to accomplish this
 - follow the meal plan (see below)
 - Exercise - start running again, continue with karate
 - better forms of stress relief

Breakfast: 400 calories max
- grapefruit, 1 tsp peanut butter and multivitamin
- oatmeal with brown sugar

Lunch: 500 max
- salad
-leftovers
-cereal and soymilk
- fruit

Supper: 500 max
- stir fry with noodles
- spaghetti (with tomato sauce and beans)
- chili or soup

And go easy on the candy, junk food and cookie dough. Ideally don't eat any, but it's ok sometimes. And lots of vegetables.
I would rather just not eat anymore. Spend my days curled up in a ball in bed.
You know those times when you're all tired and not feeling good, and the only things your weekend holds is homework and studying?  Maybe it's because my roommate's sort-of boyfriend is here and I'm kind of feeling alone. You know the feeling, right? Like you might as well start collecting cats or something?
And this makes me want to lose weight to feel better about myself. But I am fairly certain that a girl obsessed with weight and what-not is boring. And that's not who I want to be anyway. I just wish I could automatically be the right weight, and not have to worry about it anymore.
Well, I have turned off the happy-ending-you-need-a-boy-to-make-you- happy and if you don't have a boy you're going to end up dying homeless and alone - movie. And am now watching comedy, finishing my lab report and then going to bed. And maybe watching Lost Girl. Even though there's kind of a lot of sex and that doesn't do much for the dying alone fears.
I hope everybody out there is doing well :)
I'm back :) and hopefully doing this right and not going to end up crazy.