Sick...

I'm sick :(
I wish my ex was still here, he used to rub my back and sing to me when I was sick. I hate myself for wishing he was here...
In other news, I skipped school today to sleep because I woke up at 3 am, almost puking and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm not sure if I'm actually sick or if it's just because I had a crazy binge last night. It doesn't really matter I guess. I've only eaten fruit so far today because I'm trying out a fruit fast. How it works is you eat a piece (or two if you have to, but aim for one) of fruit for 3 meals a day. I'm going to add two snacks, or maybe three on days I work out, but I'll keep working out to a minimum while doing this. I bought a ton of fruit, probably enough for a week of fasting. I'm also going to try to remember to take my multivitamin.

Anyway, so far today, I've had about 250 calories. Which is basically a record for me. I'm trying to not think about food while on this fast. Apparently the first 3 days are hardest and then it gets easier. So I may or may not keep going after a week. Or I might have a break for a day or two and then start again for another week.
I didn't go with my friends to Sushi Island! They have an all you can eat lunch special and I love sushi so much I actually considered going. But I'm glad I didn't, even though it would have been nice to hang out with friends and not worry about food for a while, I would have worried after.

This is clean start v. 2.0 and this time, it'll go better. I hope.

Tomorrow, it is a friend's birthday and everyone's getting together. I sort of want to drink, but I'm pretty sure that's not part of the fruit fast...Maybe I'll just have the one cooler I already have in my fridge, since I can't drink very much anyway, without getting really drunk/really sick and I'd want to just eat fruit before... I really want to have fun with my friends, but I don't want to end up in someone else's bed again. It was ok with D. because my two friends were there, and because I'm pretty sure he's a good guy. But my college friends are different, they seem like they might take advantage of a drunk girl who fell asleep in their bed. I like to think that because it's me and we're friends, nothing bad would happen, but I don't want to take the risk... My roommate would be there and she'd help keep me safe, but at times her judgement can be about the same as mine (as in, poor haha). For example, one time, she got us into a game of strip beer pong. It was fine for her, she was wearing a million layers because we walked there and it was cold out. But I just had jeans, 2 shirts and 2 socks on. (and underwear but since I'd never take that off, I feel likeit doesn't count haha). It turned out somewhat ok though.
Stay beautiful!