Yesterday (day 14), May 3rd
Went to visit grandparents. It was good to see them. My grandma has started growing her garden already, inside the house. It's still too cold to plant outside. She gave me some African Violets to plant, which I did yesterday. Grandpa had a stroke when my mom was a teenager (like 30+ years ago), so now he is careful about eating and exercising and stuff. He has an exercise bike that he uses and I helped him and grandma fix it so that he could strap his bad foot in (because of the stroke, one side is weaker, and it's hard for him to keep that foot on the pedal). They are doing good I think, if a bit worried about me. I can't sleep at night, so I was kind of dozing off in the afternoon.
Food was alright. I'm tracking on dailyburn.com now, I had 2200 calories (ish) yesterday, which is good, since I'm trying to stop binging. There's still room for improvement though. After I visited my grandparents, I came home and my mom and dad were making supper. We had spaghetti (vegetarian for me, meat for them). It made me so so anxious to eat it. I tried to take a smallish plateful and spread it out so it looked like more and then I had to add spices and stuff. I tried to just take small bites and chew everything really well. Spaghetti is so hard to chew till it's liquid, which is what I try to do. And I like to eat things in parts, like vegetables first or protein first and grains/carbs last, but that's hard to do with spaghetti. It took me a long time to eat, and by the time I was done, I was still hungry, so I had a little bit more (maybe like half a cup of noodles and sauce combined) but by the time I got back to the table I was freaked out again and didn't want to eat it, so I put a bunch of hot sauce on it. I think I've found my new way to hurt myself with food... Plus apparently spicy food speeds up your metabolism. It definitely makes me warmer so that's good to know.
I helped my dad in the garage with putting in wiring and changing the oil in the tractor. Well, I mostly did the wiring and he mostly changed the oil.
Today
Nothing much to do today. I have been wondering if I have a vitamin deficiency from all the crazy eating, so I've been trying to take my multivitamin every day like I'm supposed to. And being vegan, if you aren't eating right it can be easy to get deficient in things. So I tried to have cereal and soy milk for breakfast, because both are all fortified with lots of vitamins.
I took my dog for a walk today (50 mins, 4 km) and worked out. It's all tracked on daily burn though. I'm starting work tonight, which will be fun... Kinda... The lady I work with is really nice and she's cool, but the job is making cakes. Which is hard, because it's hard to be around all that food and know that I can't eat it. It's not so bad unless I go there absolutely (literally) starving though. I can resist.
And then I have a job interview tomorrow! Bah! I'm kinda worried about it.
I'm not sure if I should take this job if I get it, or go back to my job last year. It's a hard decision. If I went to this new job, I'd probably be living away from home and I'm not sure if I want to or not. But if I go back to my old job, it's very stressful but I'll be making more money probably.
More later <3
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