Day 18/19: 145

Day 18
So yesterday was pretty good at first. I had my bowl of cereal (350) and then went to help my dad and brother with farm stuff. We dug out some of the drains on our semi-flooded fields and cut up some trees that beavers chewed down. It was pretty good for burning calories, but by the time I ate lunch it was like 2, six hours after breakfast so I was really hungry and ate too much. I ate too much again at supper and then had a night snack after work :(

So that's why I gained a pound this morning... I haven't eaten breakfast yet though, and I am considering a run or maybe just a walk. I don't want to feel like I'm making up for something though, and I know that running (or other exercise) on an empty stomach promotes muscle loss, which I want to avoid if at all possible.

Last night at work, I made my mom a cake for mother's day. I won't be eating any of it, because it's not vegan, but I decorated it with flowers! Pretty much the first cake I've ever decorated! It's not amazing, but it's not terrible either. I hope she likes it.
Day 19

mother's day!!!! Going to visit my grandma and my nana.


I have been doing some thinking: Skinny isn't something that just happens. You have to fight for it everyday. You don't have to win everyday, just most days. 19 days out of 20.  Everytime you say, yeah, I'll go exercise or no, I don't need that candy/that second helping/whatever unnecessary food, you get that much closer to being thin.
That being said, I need to set a goal. Soon, before I lose a bunch of weight and think that 105 would be ok. At last check, my lean body mass was 105, but I think it must be higher than that, because that gives me a body fat percentage of obesity. I need to lose weight, but I'm not obese!
I want to be skinny, not die from an eating disorder. So the absolute lower limit (aka if you get here and you're still alive, you are very lucky) is 113. I'll probably aim for about 120 though, maybe 118 at the lowest. I need to remember though, once I get there I can't just eat crap and hope to stay skinny. I need to exercise. Skinny habits will make me skinny.  If I reach my goals, I'm going to make sure to buy warm clothes. Being cold always makes me hungry. 
Ok I'm off to start my day!