Stressed! or maybe anxious? Something anyway.

Had supper with my family. Tried to eat normal, think I succeeded. My mom was staring at me the whole time though. My parents kinda had an argument tonight. I hate when they yell or bicker.

Didn't get the job, so I guess I have to go back to my old job. Whatever, it's better than sitting here doing nothing all day. I can't help but feel rejected though. I'm also worried about going back to work there because last time I saw everyone, I was 10 to 15 lbs lighter. I know that at least 6 lbs was muscle, so maybe it won't be that bad, but I think my co workers are the type of people to comment on weight loss. They commented a lot when I was losing though, casually bringing up the subject of eating disorders.

I never ever ever want to eat again... I feel like puking. Just a bad night in general. I want to fade away. I want to disappear. I want to be skinny and delicate.

No binging though (so far). No cutting either. Instead I'm here writing. I am a little hungry, but I'm not going to eat. Sticking to the three meals a day plan, except instead of lunch and breakfast, I kinda had 4 small meals.  Walked over 2 miles today.
I think I will just sleep it off. It will be ok. Maybe. Hopefully. Once I lose 20 lbs :P