Day 5: .... lbs

Yesterday I had a crazy binge. Ate everything in sight, and then some. Basically an all day thing. Cried a little. Just a terrible day in general. I blame being a bit hungover, seeing psycho ex, spending time at the school around little kids (I miss being a child and innocent and worry free, and wonder if anything bad has happened/will happen to them)

So today I weighed in at 150 ish. But I weighed again and it went down a little so I'm hoping maybe I can get back down to 143 in the next few days.
My plan now is basically stop binging. I don't know how long it will take, but losing weight is going to have to take a backseat, at least for now.
Aiming for 3 good meals per day, with only fruit (apples) for snacks, only if necessary, and trying to eat every 4 hours. I'm going to have to figure something out for if I end up staying up really late. Maybe just not eat 2 or 3 hours before bed or something...
I have been reading up on reasons for binging. I think the reason I binge is partly just plain wanting to hurt myself, and partly nutritional deficiency. So I'm going to work on the hurting myself part and start taking multi-vitamins and eating healthy as possible. I don't think it's a lack of self control because I can resist eating cake and cheese and other non-vegan delicious junk food while other people do. Unless that has something to do with it... You know, feeling deprived and then eating later to make up for it or something. I just have to remember that being skinny takes work.

So far today...
Exercise: None yet. But I have left the house, gone up to the school. And may go for a walk later...

Food:
Grapefruit
Beans and salsa
Rice


Later, I'm going for Easter supper with friends. No one went home for the holiday so we're just going to go to someone's house and eat and watch the hockey game (Canadian eh?!)
It's the eating that presents a problem. Everyone else isn't vegan, so they're going to be eating chicken and stuff. I can get out of eating most things but everyone will notice if I just don't eat anything. So we are all going to the grocery store. I'm thinking of getting some kind of candy and maybe sweet potato or vegetables or something. I'm just not sure though, I don't want this to be an excuse to binge (partly because that's embarrassing and partly just cause I don't want to binge)
Maybe I'll pre-eat or just get frozen veggies and a little candy... I want to figure out a plan so I can just stick to it and prevent a binge.
Going to watch the Big Bang Theory and continue thinking about this... Home in 7 days!