Day 6

Freaking out!!!!!!!!!
 I talked to my mom today.
Basically binged all day.
Going to go buy some healthy food tomorrow, fruit and veggies. I don't wanna be fat!!! My whole body seems swollen after days of binging. I haven't even been "purging" (exercising/restricting)! Well kinda. I ran about 4.5 km today, before the binge attack. So that was good. And walked about 3 km. So that's alright. But it definitely doesn't cancel out all I ate...
Even my wrists seem fatter. I'm too scared to weigh in. I think I may not eat tomorrow, if I can.

(laxatives)
**GROSS TMI WARNING**

 I'm thinking about using laxatives, even though things are moving pretty good. Since being vegan, I mostly don't have any problems with not going. I've never used them before, but the internet can tell me almost everything I need to know. I know the dangers.
The closest I've ever come to using laxatives before is eating a ton of raisins.
I just want my body to be clean of food and crap! (lol that was an accident)

*TMI OVER*

Maybe I should just focus on eating healthy and not being such a slob. I guess first step would be working out now... I'm going to come up with a workout plan. And a not eating plan too I guess.
I think I'm going to slowly ease into not eating. Start by having 3 normal meals a day and 2 snacks. Then cut out snacks. Then trim down meals.

So tomorrow.
Breakfast within 1 hour of waking up. (apple &cinnamin?)
Lunch at 12 (Rice and peanut butter?)
Snack at 3, and before karate. (Fruit?)

No binging. Only allowed to eat at scheduled times, and always wait 2 hours between meals and snacks.
I think I may be able to burn 600 calories in the next hour and a half if I go now. Maybe.
I'm ready to starve again this summer. But I have to break the binging habit first.
I'm ready to give up food forever and ever. I wanna be skinny. I wanna float away... I wanna be light and free and delicate and pretty. Am I willing to work for it?