Just to clarify...
1) I'm drunk right now
2) I'm a terrible person

Ok now that we got that outta the way... I sorta hate my brothers girlfriend. Not only do I find her terribly annoying but I think I actually really don't like her. Today is my dads birthday. It's also st pattys day. So we were drinking at her house and she was all like what's your dads cell number I wanna text him to say happy birthday I was like, no that'd be Weird and then she was all like I'm going to be like the daughter he never had. WTF?!?!,!!!!!!!!?!? Bitch stay away from my dad!
And she's just all weird about stuff. Like she has to make other people feel bad to make herself feel good. This applies to tests, weight, you name it. She's all like, I need to lose weight but she doesn't 't want to
A) diet
B) exercise
And she's all asking me what to do and I'm just like get off your ass or eat less.
And she's all like but I've never had to before... And I just want to be like good for fucking you, you're lazy and I kinda hate you. It's not even that I'm jealous, I like exercise and some sick part of me likes restricting (1000 today, -200 running-2000 for activities) it's that she seems to think she's tough or something but she totally isn't. And she finds my brother boring, but I think he's funny and sweet and I think he's attractive, or at least not bad looking and he is all around a great guy. I have a very high opinion of him and he deserves the best girl on the face of the fucking planet. She is nowhere near good enough for him but can't find any better guys do she's settling. He isnt some second rate prize.
I just want him to find a lovely girl. I'm going to sleep this off and maybe see you in the morning

Also...
Dear sober me: please remember some people can't control their weight. It's not their fault and you don't need to be fucked up about it.