My attempt at feelings and a few numbers

Last Thursday, I got sick. I threw up. I haven't thrown up (by accident) in about a year, and before that, about 8 years. I've never thrown up on purpose. That's not to say I have never tried, but I digress. So I texted my parents to see if they thought I should go to the hospital and my dad offered to come get me (my mom didn't text back; she was at work). I went home that afternoon and skipped my thursday and friday classes. I was sick till Saturday, and just stayed at home and rested and stuff. It was nice being home with my family, I missed home a lot. I missed my dog too.
I'm back at school now, and feeling so lonely. I tried to eat supper, but my roommate was on the phone with her ex boyfriend, yelling and I couldn't eat very much. Which I guess was good. I miss my old roommates :(
I binged over the weekend, but it wasn't too bad. I am focusing on trying to eat 500 calories at every meal, since that is enough to lose weight at a healthy rate and enough to keep me from starving and binging. It's also how I stopped my old unhealthy habits. I'm not sure if I want to keep counting calories or not. I don't think I want to have to count forever, so I might just roughly estimate at each meal and then add it up at the end of the day. I think counting might trigger binging too. For example, today I had a calorie count of 1275, which is really good. But my limit to lose 2 lbs/week is supposed to be 1130 or something like that. I'm really only about 150 over, and I ran today so I definitely burned that extra 150 off. But just seeing that it says I'm over budget makes me want to just say "screw it" and eat a bunch more for the heck of it. I know that's dumb and I'm not going to lose like that though. And that this adds up to about 1000 calories over the week, or less than 1/3 of a pound. So that's still 1 and 2/3 that I will have lost.
I started running again. Can't wait until I am strong again, and until I can start training for a half marathon.
I can't wait until I'm skinny at my goal weight.
Recently I watched A Secret Between Friends, For the Love of Nancy and The Best Little Girl in the World. That's the order that I rank them. A Secret Between Friends was definitely my favourite. I think I sort of wish I had someone who understood this, in real life.  Someone to encourage me, and be supportive and never say, "You need to eat more" or "Lets have cookies" or whatever.  Maybe I just wish for a best friend in general, or someone I could tell all this to. But that didn't exactly work out well last time. Anyway, the videos are all on YouTube if anyone else wants to watch them.
Hang in there. You can do anything if you try hard enough! Sometimes you just have to stay strong and wait.